Why We Feel the Way We Do

Feelings are certainly a complex phenomenon, and most of the time, we don’t realize why we feel what we do. If you’re anything like me, you would have certainly asked yourself at some point “Why is it only me that feels like this? Why me?”. These are the questions that keep philosophers, scientists, and really all of humanity up at night, and what is most difficult to comprehend is that we may never find a satisfactory answer. Despite any scientific explanation, we may hear whether it’s about hormones or neurotransmitters or anything along those lines, the logic is almost never enough to reason our misery or joy.

Our thoughts cause our emotions which means that a group of people experiencing the same situation may undergo a very varied journey of emotions depending on their individualistic thought processes. Emotions are a way of evaluating things around and within you, they’re neurological responses; a collection of organs (that form what is known as the nervous system) interact with the body to shape our reactions and feelings that guide our behaviour and consequent responses. However, while understanding the science of emotions may answer some questions, they tend to lack insight about why everyone comprehends/views a situation differently to stimulate a varied emotional response… because of this, some of us may be more emotionally reactive than others.

Why are some of us more emotionally vulnerable than others, does that make us weaker? Emotional vulnerability is about putting yourself out there; freely exhibiting your sensitivities, emotionalisms and perhaps even insecurities. Think about the last time you poured your heart out to someone, and reminisce how you felt after voicing all your emotions in that rant; were you satisfied or enraged? Soothed or bitter? This position of vulnerability once again stimulates different emotional reactions within people, and this is because of the way people think. While some people believe emotional susceptibility is a matter of weakness, I personally believe that vulnerability makes you a stronger person; vulnerability is about intimate, emotional exposure, and to some degree, it carries great uncertainty. Vulnerability is about being seen by others for who you are, and with such exposure, an emotional risk of acceptance and compassion is intrinsic. I believe that being vulnerable demands confidence and a sense of security in your individuality and emotionality, and in this way, a vulnerable person is the most potent of them all. Nevertheless, there is no right answer, to this question and to many others about why we feel the way we do.

I have been having a hard time accumulating the boatloads of motivation that I require to begin my schoolwork once again; I’ve been feeling lethargic and often quite miserable. I tend to blame it on the cold weather or the fact that I’m burnt out from the last term, but then I look at my peers and ask myself the other eternally unanswerable question of “How can they do it, but I can’t?”. Surely, I can’t be inherently less motivated than they are, and instead of responding to my lack of productivity with a new game plan, I remain miserable. On the other hand, the people I compare myself to may take advantage of their newfound time as an opportunity for learning something new and pulling themselves out of their slump slowly. At the end of the day, what most philosophers and I too have come to realize, is that it is our attitude and mindset that controls the way we feel; our train of thought and our immediate reaction/approach to a situation (whether it is optimistic or pessimistic) alters the way we feel. With this, when people say, ‘nothing outside of you has power over you’, they are in no way wrong; you have the power to control how you respond, how you feel is within your control. You may not want to feel miserable, but you still feel it, and that’s because you’re approaching your experience in the wrong way. Take some time to change your attitude. The way you think is the way you feel.

Image: The Scream, Edvard Munch, 1893

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